It was once hinted that my blogs were a form of ‘attention seeking’ by someone close to me and it really hurt me. I then began to think about why the hell I was actually doing it and dedicating most of my time to it. I was determined to prove to myself that my blogs were not me ‘crying for help’ or ‘attention seeking’ but I came to the conclusion that as a matter of fact I do want attention for my blogs but not for selfish reasons at all.
I always believed my purpose in life was to help others, hence why I was pursuing psychology as a career path. My life goal has always been to make a difference in the lives of people who needed it most.
I originally started my blog as a sort of therapy for myself. I was planning on keeping it anonymous and not sharing it with my family and friends. I started reading the blogs of others suffering from various illnesses and I found it extremely helpful to know I wasn’t alone. I felt a little less crazy knowing that there are others out there dealing with some of the same symptoms as me. I was also saddened by how many people that are out there suffering things that I had no idea even existed. This is when I decided that it was so important for me to share my story, with both strangers and my family and friends.
I decided to share my story because I want to make a difference. I want to give insight into my own life that might help someone else. I want to inspire people to be strong and try to remain positive no matter their circumstances. I want to show people that even when life is shit, you can still find your own rainbows after the storm.
The reactions I receive from people each week on my blog continue to blow me away. I never realised how powerful my words could be. I have people who I hardly know tell me they read my blogs religiously and for me that means more than I could ever put in words. I often become speechless when people tell me how great my blogs are because I am so overwhelmed with emotions. Firstly I am grateful that people actually take the time to read them but mostly I am so happy that my blogs have had a significant impact on other people’s lives.
One comment I received was from an MS-sufferer (who I am sure is more than just that – sorry). It read “your post really spoke to me … From the bottom of my heart – thank you for sharing this. You have truly opened my eyes.” This comment (and many others like it) mean the world to me; in fact it is a screenshot in my phone that I often go back and re-read for some inspiration. These comments prove to me that I am doing something good for others, and not just pointlessly rambling on the internet. These comments are the reason I write my blog each week.
I also blog to create awareness about chronic illness. There are so many people out there that suffer in silence and that just breaks my heart. It is so hard for others to understand what it means to be chronically ill so the least I can do is try and give people an insight into what it is actually like for me. These illnesses are often not taken seriously enough and people will often assume the impacts of them are exaggerated but they are certainly not. Most importantly, I always want to create a platform for those who go undiagnosed. Whether it be for weeks, months or years, being undiagnosed is the most frustrating and disheartening feeling I have experienced in my life. No matter what my diagnosis is or when it comes, I want to always be a voice for the undiagnosed community because there are way too many of us out there and it is so easy to feel alone.
My blog is the only routine I have in my life at the moment and I try and pour my heart and soul into these pieces. Some might make you cry, others will make you laugh and some might bore you half to death but at the end of the day, they sum up my life at the moment.
This post is essentially a way for me to say thank you for your support. Whether you actively follow my blog or occasionally skim a post – thank you. Every kind word written to me privately or otherwise means so much to me and I am truly thankful.
So basically yes, I am seeking attention by blogging. I want to get people’s attention with my story and use that to firstly help others cope with hardships and secondly to create awareness for chronic illness and especially the undiagnosed community. At the end of the day, I am just a sick girl with a computer who sometimes manages to put sentences together – but if I can help people by doing it, then that’s what I’ll do.