It was once hinted that my blogs were a form of ‘attention seeking’ by someone close to me and it really hurt me. I then began to think about why the hell I was actually doing it and dedicating most of my time to it. I was determined to prove to myself that my blogs were not me ‘crying for help’ or ‘attention seeking’ but I came to the conclusion that as a matter of fact I do want attention for my blogs but not for selfish reasons at all. Continue reading
The answer is simple; your health is more important than money – thus making the ‘body’ the winner over the bank account. Simple, right? Wrong. In order to prioritise my health, I have to spend ridiculous amounts of money on doctors, tests, medicines etc. It’s a vicious circle because what my body needs is to rest, but my body also needs medical attention which requires an income, which requires me to ignore my body’s need for rest. Continue reading
I have always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason – no matter how shitty the thing is, there is always a bright side. There is always something great that comes out of something awful, even if that great thing takes years for you to see. Continue reading
Without a doubt, this line has been used on myself by almost everyone I come across who is aware of my situation. While I am totally aware that people genuinely think they are complementing me, it just pisses me off. Normally, ‘you look great’ would be a compliment I would happily receive – however now this sentence comes with an invisible second part which makes it not so flattering. Continue reading
So today I stumbled upon this gorgeous youtuber who makes videos documenting her medical journey. If you are also living with an undiagnosed illness, please check her out and watch her videos. So relatable and inspiring!
The doctor once asked me to shade in the affected areas on a piece of paper with an outline of a person on it. A simple task if I were seeing him for an injured ankle or back pain. For my situation this task was quite difficult. Did affected mean just the numbness? What about the pain? The weakness? The terrible cognitive processes? I could have used every colour of the rainbow (pun intended) to demonstrate the different effects on different areas. Continue reading
I can’t remember the last time I felt ‘normal’ – before all these symptoms started five months ago. I know they haven’t always been here but I honestly can’t remember what it felt like before. As much as I try to remember how it felt to be strong, active and awake, I just can’t do it. The thought of being those things feels so foreign to me – as if they were a lifetime ago. It scares me because it’s only been five months since this started. If I’m struggling to remember normal now – what the hell is it going to be like in five years’ time? Continue reading