I am Thankful for my Illness

We have just passed my six month anniversary of my illness. Typically anniversaries are something to celebrate – so I’ve decided this particular one shouldn’t be any different. I could dwell on the fact that I’m six months into an undiagnosed illness with no signs of a diagnosis anytime soon or I could celebrate all the beautiful things that have come out of this time. I have recently come to the conclusion that overall, I am thankful for my illness. Continue reading

Why I Blog

It was once hinted that my blogs were a form of ‘attention seeking’ by someone close to me and it really hurt me. I then began to think about why the hell I was actually doing it and dedicating most of my time to it. I was determined to prove to myself that my blogs were not me ‘crying for help’ or ‘attention seeking’ but I came to the conclusion that as a matter of fact I do want attention for my blogs but not for selfish reasons at all. Continue reading

My New Normal

I can’t remember the last time I felt ‘normal’ – before all these symptoms started five months ago. I know they haven’t always been here but I honestly can’t remember what it felt like before. As much as I try to remember how it felt to be strong, active and awake, I just can’t do it. The thought of being those things feels so foreign to me – as if they were a lifetime ago. It scares me because it’s only been five months since this started. If I’m struggling to remember normal now – what the hell is it going to be like in five years’ time? Continue reading

A Second Opinion

Following my disastrous appointment which left me feeling like the world had ended, I spent days feeling lost. I had to snap out of it before it took over my life. I understand how you can convince yourself that you basically have any illness by reading about it too much but it was my doctors that had me convinced. As ridiculous as it sounds – I was embarrassed that my results were negative. Continue reading