June Recap

I’ve decided to post a brief medical update each month, along side my weekly posts. My aim is to give you an insight into the reality of my situation. As this is my first one, I’ve included the end of May into my June recap. This month was super busy with appointments so it will be a little longer than the months to come. Continue reading

My Life With Pain

Have you ever had an injury so bad that it kept you in bed for a week or so? One that came with non-stop pain and interfered with every element of your life, from your job to your personal hygiene? You may have broken a bone or had surgery. You feel as though it’s never going away, but you know it will. Give or take four to eight weeks, you will be healed and back to normal again. Imagine that this crippling pain didn’t go away though. Imagine if it clung on to you and made it self at home for an indefinite period of time. Continue reading

To Google Or Not To Google

Google doctor is understandably every doctor’s pet peeve but let’s be honest – we’ve all done it once or twice. It is mostly harmful to the ordinary patient seeking medical advice; however, my condition makes me a not-so-ordinary patient and I often struggle with the question – ‘to google, or not to google?’ Continue reading

What No Diagnosis Really Means

Never in my life did it occur to me that one day I would wake up sick and (potentially) never get better. I often brush over just how scary the unknown really is. When I let myself think about it, the truth is I’m shitting myself. I have no diagnosis, which sounds like no big deal right? Wrong. I can honestly say, living with an undiagnosed illness is one of the hardest things I will ever do. Continue reading

A Deeper Insight into my Situation

The doctor once asked me to shade in the affected areas on a piece of paper with an outline of a person on it. A simple task if I were seeing him for an injured ankle or back pain. For my situation this task was quite difficult. Did affected mean just the numbness? What about the pain? The weakness? The terrible cognitive processes? I could have used every colour of the rainbow (pun intended) to demonstrate the different effects on different areas. Continue reading

My New Normal

I can’t remember the last time I felt ‘normal’ – before all these symptoms started five months ago. I know they haven’t always been here but I honestly can’t remember what it felt like before. As much as I try to remember how it felt to be strong, active and awake, I just can’t do it. The thought of being those things feels so foreign to me – as if they were a lifetime ago. It scares me because it’s only been five months since this started. If I’m struggling to remember normal now – what the hell is it going to be like in five years’ time? Continue reading

A Second Opinion

Following my disastrous appointment which left me feeling like the world had ended, I spent days feeling lost. I had to snap out of it before it took over my life. I understand how you can convince yourself that you basically have any illness by reading about it too much but it was my doctors that had me convinced. As ridiculous as it sounds – I was embarrassed that my results were negative. Continue reading