Reflecting Upon The Significance Of A Diagnosis

For the last 13 months, my focus has been on getting a diagnosis. Looking at the state of my health, it makes sense. I am sick and I don’t know why, therefore I need an answer; a diagnosis. Should getting a diagnosis be the most important thing I am working toward in my life right now? Well that’s what I am trying to figure out. Continue reading

10 Ways To Make Doctors’ Appointments More Productive When You Are Chronically Ill & Undiagnosed

Doctors’ appointments can be very daunting and overwhelming when you’re chronically ill and especially if you are undiagnosed like myself. It’s so easy to get caught up in the stress and frustration of doctors’ appointments and have them be unproductive and unpleasant. To avoid this however, I have come up with a list of 10 ways to make doctors’ appointments more productive when you are chronically ill and undiagnosed. Continue reading

A Letter To The Man Who Loves Me Despite My Chronic Illness

When I met you, you were a little lost. You didn’t know what you wanted to do or where you wanted to go. I, however, had it all worked out; the city move, the study, the career. The more I got to know you the more I realised that I wanted you above all other things. Continue reading

6 Emotional Side Effects Of Being Undiagnosed

These six things are all connected and create a lot of difficulty for people living with an undiagnosed condition. I can’t tell you for sure that a diagnosis will fix these things but in a lot of ways a diagnosis would make them more bearable. Being sick is shitty, but being undiagnosed is worse. I battle all six of these emotions every day – some days it’s easier than others. It’s definitely not an easy journey but I’m learning to deal with these things as I go along. Continue reading

I am Tired of Being Tired

How am I you ask? Fucking tired. Scratch that, I am fucking exhausted. All the time. Every single day.

When I tell you I’m tired (which I can almost guarantee I will; multiple times) I do not mean I am tired because I had a big night or didn’t sleep well last night. When I tell you I am tired, what I actually mean is I am chronically fatigued. Continue reading

Dancing with Words – My Illness as my Dance Partner.

As a dancer, I’ve always expressed my emotions through dance. I would tell a story of my own emotional battles through either my improvisation or my choreography. Lately I have been really down about not being able to physically express my current struggles through dance. I sometimes hear the perfect song and envision myself telling my story through movements and flow. When the realisation kicks in that I most likely will never be able to express myself with dance again, it brings me to tears every time. Continue reading

What No Diagnosis Really Means

Never in my life did it occur to me that one day I would wake up sick and (potentially) never get better. I often brush over just how scary the unknown really is. When I let myself think about it, the truth is I’m shitting myself. I have no diagnosis, which sounds like no big deal right? Wrong. I can honestly say, living with an undiagnosed illness is one of the hardest things I will ever do. Continue reading