My Life With Pain

Have you ever had an injury so bad that it kept you in bed for a week or so? One that came with non-stop pain and interfered with every element of your life, from your job to your personal hygiene? You may have broken a bone or had surgery. You feel as though it’s never going away, but you know it will. Give or take four to eight weeks, you will be healed and back to normal again. Imagine that this crippling pain didn’t go away though. Imagine if it clung on to you and made it self at home for an indefinite period of time. Continue reading

The Darkness That Came Before The Light

It’s about time I open up about the beginning of my journey because to truly understand how I got to where I am now, you need to know how hard it was to get here. Picture this. You are 21, in the absolute prime of your life. You are studying your hardest at university to achieve grades in the top 10%. Continue reading

Why I Blog

It was once hinted that my blogs were a form of ‘attention seeking’ by someone close to me and it really hurt me. I then began to think about why the hell I was actually doing it and dedicating most of my time to it. I was determined to prove to myself that my blogs were not me ‘crying for help’ or ‘attention seeking’ but I came to the conclusion that as a matter of fact I do want attention for my blogs but not for selfish reasons at all. Continue reading

A Deeper Insight into my Situation

The doctor once asked me to shade in the affected areas on a piece of paper with an outline of a person on it. A simple task if I were seeing him for an injured ankle or back pain. For my situation this task was quite difficult. Did affected mean just the numbness? What about the pain? The weakness? The terrible cognitive processes? I could have used every colour of the rainbow (pun intended) to demonstrate the different effects on different areas. Continue reading

My New Normal

I can’t remember the last time I felt ‘normal’ – before all these symptoms started five months ago. I know they haven’t always been here but I honestly can’t remember what it felt like before. As much as I try to remember how it felt to be strong, active and awake, I just can’t do it. The thought of being those things feels so foreign to me – as if they were a lifetime ago. It scares me because it’s only been five months since this started. If I’m struggling to remember normal now – what the hell is it going to be like in five years’ time? Continue reading