Life’s Tough When You Are Constantly Choosing Between Your Health And Your Experiences

When it comes down to it, I am ‘too sick’ for a lot of things – most things in fact. Some of these things are made totally impossible by my symptoms but others are just made extremely difficult. I’ve been struggling with the ‘extremely difficult’ things lately; do I risk my body totally failing and resulting in immense pain/fatigue or do I play it safe and stay in bed? Continue reading

6 Emotional Side Effects Of Being Undiagnosed

These six things are all connected and create a lot of difficulty for people living with an undiagnosed condition. I can’t tell you for sure that a diagnosis will fix these things but in a lot of ways a diagnosis would make them more bearable. Being sick is shitty, but being undiagnosed is worse. I battle all six of these emotions every day – some days it’s easier than others. It’s definitely not an easy journey but I’m learning to deal with these things as I go along. Continue reading

Dancing with Words ā€“ My Illness as my Dance Partner.

As a dancer, I’ve always expressed my emotions through dance. I would tell a story of my own emotional battles through either my improvisation or my choreography. Lately I have been really down about not being able to physically express my current struggles through dance. I sometimes hear the perfect song and envision myself telling my story through movements and flow. When the realisation kicks in that I most likely will never be able to express myself with dance again, it brings me to tears every time. Continue reading

What No Diagnosis Really Means

Never in my life did it occur to me that one day I would wake up sick and (potentially) never get better. I often brush over just how scary the unknown really is. When I let myself think about it, the truth is Iā€™m shitting myself. I have no diagnosis, which sounds like no big deal right? Wrong. I can honestly say, living with an undiagnosed illness is one of the hardest things I will ever do. Continue reading