It was once hinted that my blogs were a form of ‘attention seeking’ by someone close to me and it really hurt me. I then began to think about why the hell I was actually doing it and dedicating most of my time to it. I was determined to prove to myself that my blogs were not me ‘crying for help’ or ‘attention seeking’ but I came to the conclusion that as a matter of fact I do want attention for my blogs but not for selfish reasons at all. Continue reading
As a dancer, I’ve always expressed my emotions through dance. I would tell a story of my own emotional battles through either my improvisation or my choreography. Lately I have been really down about not being able to physically express my current struggles through dance. I sometimes hear the perfect song and envision myself telling my story through movements and flow. When the realisation kicks in that I most likely will never be able to express myself with dance again, it brings me to tears every time. Continue reading
I am responsible for everything that happens in my life.
Every. Single. Thing. Continue reading
I have always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason – no matter how shitty the thing is, there is always a bright side. There is always something great that comes out of something awful, even if that great thing takes years for you to see. Continue reading
I can’t remember the last time I felt ‘normal’ – before all these symptoms started five months ago. I know they haven’t always been here but I honestly can’t remember what it felt like before. As much as I try to remember how it felt to be strong, active and awake, I just can’t do it. The thought of being those things feels so foreign to me – as if they were a lifetime ago. It scares me because it’s only been five months since this started. If I’m struggling to remember normal now – what the hell is it going to be like in five years’ time? Continue reading
The beginning of a journey is crucial – it sets the pace and lays the foundation for the rest of the ride. It’s not impossible to change the pace but if you start strong, chances are your strength will only grow during your transition. At least, that’s what I like to believe. Continue reading
Some days it feels as though I’ve accepted my fate, I wake up and think ‘yes, I can totally do this.’ Other days I wake up and think ‘fuck it, my life is over.’ Continue reading